


Confessions

by MLMDarkFiction



Series: Dark's Ferdibert Week 2020 fics [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks, also known as the fic where Hubert realizes he almost ended his own happiness before it truly began
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:34:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25784458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MLMDarkFiction/pseuds/MLMDarkFiction
Summary: Because of Hubert.Because he is nothing more than a rabid beast;Fine at first, then capable of turning and snapping on it’s master, biting the hand that feeds and devouring everything within its path.Ferdinand so easily could have succumbed to such a fate.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Hubert von Vestra
Series: Dark's Ferdibert Week 2020 fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870513
Kudos: 68
Collections: Ferdibert Week 2020





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> I know Ferdibert week doesn't technically start until tomorrow but I was very excited and the idea wouldn't leave my head so I had to write it before I lost it.

The closest thing to peace Hubert Von Vestra has ever known is lying side by side in bed like this with his husband. There is no greater tranquility than being able to feel the rhythmic breathing at his side and to know that the heart (and lungs, and body, and everything else that is Ferdinand) belongs to him alone. 

His eyes are shut, enjoying the sound of breaths in tandem, enjoying the way Ferdinand’s hands rake soothingly through his hair. The touch of a man capable of taming a beast. 

That thought alone is what causes the downward spiral of Hubert’s brain. 

Green eyes suddenly opened wide with panic, breath falling out of sync with that of Ferdinand’s own. 

It’s such a sudden, and visceral panic, that for a moment Ferdinand is unable to respond to it, before quickly snapping into role. 

“Hey-” His hands move from the other man's hair to gently cup his face. 

Hubert feels so  _ cold  _ against the warmth of Ferdinand’s hands. 

“Love, darling-”

Repeated pet names tasked at attempting to bring Hubert down, back into reality, to let him know that he’s safe. 

Of course  **he** is safe. 

It’s a bitter, the thought which takes the forefront of Hubert’s brain even among his panic. 

He was never in danger. 

He was the thing to fear. 

It’s poor Ferdinand who’s always been at risk. Always been in danger. 

Because of him. 

Because of Hubert.

Because he is nothing more than a rabid beast;

Fine at first, then capable of turning and snapping on it’s master, biting the hand that feeds and devouring everything within its path. 

Ferdinand so easily could have succumbed to such a fate.

Tears. 

Only slight tears, so slight Hubert himself is unaware of their presence, not in the present, in his head, in the past. 

Unaware of his body, of his tears, of their effect on the worried angel above him. 

He’d never hurt Ferdinand. 

Not now. 

He simply loves him too much.

Even the thought of Ferdinand meeting an early end makes something inside the Minister almost break. 

But once upon a time he thought about it, often even. 

Thought of being the one to end his life, in various ways. 

Regardless of the reason- jealousy, rage, pent up sexual frustration

It didn’t make it any better.

To know that he once spent many a night fantasizing about his hands around Ferdinand’s neck, to manually squeeze the life out of the other man, and to watch the light fade from those perfect golden eyes. 

He tries to imagine it now, to force himself to imagine it. 

One day just turning on his lover.

Of killing him in their marital bed. 

It makes his stomach turn in a way he’s never felt before when thinking of the death, the murder, of any other living thing. 

A slap is what pulls him from the darkening pool of thoughts, pulling him out and back into the light. 

A slap from the shaking hands of Ferdinand himself, who looks ultimately relieved when it seems to have worked, a few more tears dripping onto Hubert's already dampened face. 

“Oh thank the Go-” He doesn’t finish the sentence. 

“You were having an episode of some sort.” 

Hubert is still limp, unable to move due to feelings of shame, or unworthiness, even as his husband forces him up and into a tight hug. 

He doesn’t return it, stained flesh, cold hands, still at his sides. 

“I wanted to kill you…”

The words finally manage to bring themselves to the forefront of his tongue, and he’s unable to stop them, even as Hubert entirely cringes at himself and at the sound. 

He’s afraid. 

But of what, he’s not sure. 

Ferdinand is a greater man than most. 

Something like that;

  
A murder plot.

A fantasy of his death. 

It would not be enough to make him leave Hubert. 

Not when he loved the Minister so much. 

“At one point.” Hubert finally adds, perturbed by the way Ferdinand only holds him closer. 

“Not now- No never now-” 

“Shh.”

It’s a simple shushing. 

Nothing harsh. 

Only soft.

Ferdinand is always so soft with him. 

“I know.” 

Two words. 

Two simple words which hold enough power to make the other man break down entirely. 

Hands finally find their way to Ferdinand’s back, returning the embrace with a crushing hold, allowing himself to fully submit to his turbulent emotions. 

Ferdinand knows. 

Has likely always known. 

And it’s changed nothing. 


End file.
